Thursday, February 26, 2009

Zombies Zombies Zombies [2008]

If the title doesn't give away the important plot - a mad scientist, currently working on the all profit driven cure for cancer, instead winds up concocting super crack, with a nasty side effect..."may cause zombification", and no, that didn't come from the movie...that would have been too smart. It falls into the hands of a street walker supporter, who ends up losing the stash to the prosty. She turns into a zombie, and only the strippers of a nearby peeler can save the day! **yawn**

If you're going to catch a stripper zombie flick this year...make it this one - Zombie Strippers! - Zombies Zombies Zombies has zero appeal. How can it be, it's clearly not made by horror fans...just some filmmakers trying to get noticed in the industry; and maybe they'll get lucky. Ha!

I'm still trying to figure how they wanted this to work - it's not a comedy, it's not a gore film, and it's not the least bit scary...let me explain. Strippers aren't funny, they're usually ditsy, personalityless and are mostly only useful naked (so make that way more!). How can this be a gore film when the only good kill scenes are ripoffs **cough cough** chainsaw to the head - Darkness, The Vampire Version...and belly ripped open - Day of the Dead **cough cough** and the bloodiest scenes is just some highschool grade CGI. Or how can this be scary if the fimmakers aren't horror fans and have zero knowledge of what's scary. FUCK. And I was ALMOST not going to mention the Samuel L. Jackson clone who blurts out "I'm sick of these muthafuckin zombies, in this muthafuckin strip club"...

...fuck this movie...and fuck the filmmakers for getting my hopes up...and I want my fuckin' $20 back...


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