Monday, January 26, 2009

Chill [2007]

"Chill" - message from the makers of the film directed toward the many pissed off movie lovers who want their 88 minutes and few million brain cells back.

Synopsis: A research scientist dabbling in the art of "quackery" stumbles upon eternal forward 18 years and he's running a deli slash quickie mart and living in a refridgerated warehouse in the back of the building with a thrown together Leatherface wannabee assistant whom he sends to run the streets looking for hookers with nice skin (I guess customers 'round these parts pull out). Sam, a down on his luck unemployed writer, get's hired as the store's stock boy, and bangs Ashley Laurence (Hellraiser) who is currently being creepied to death by James Russo (Donnie Brasco). The story gets real good when Sam literally walks into some dead bodies and the proverbial cold shit hits the freezing fan...yes's Chill.

Review: Why oh why do so many filmmakers hate Lovecraft so...or disrespect him enough to only spend the skank-change they've collected/begged for a street-week when trying to adapt one of his stories?!?! Chill is laughable. From the neverending eerie score through scenes without eer (?!?) the irrelevent dialogue, mundane acting and overall ineptitude...all lead to the one of the worst special effects finales made in film...ever! You've been warned...skip it.


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