Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Outpost [2008]

Can you say **cough cough** The Prowler (1981)

Outpost proves that you really don't need an intelligence or innovation to shit out a good film. No need for any originality when you can box it up, smother with shimmery wrapping, top with a bow, and give it to a grateful imbecile who's just happy you didn't smear it on their face. Let me explain.

A group of mercenaries, with Harrison Ford in K-19: The Widowmaker caliber accents, are hired to lead a mysterious engineer into the heart of war stricken Eastern Europe to find a bunker which hides a WWII relic of experimental physics that turns dead Nazi soldiers into an indestructible SS ghost army! Apparently Outpost should've been named Universal Soldier: The Nazi Germany Edition.

But honestly, you won't even notice the fuckin' half-assed story (well, now you might...and quite possibly I ruined the whole fuckin' experience for you! Sorry bitches). Outpost is tightly built on a sound foundation of solid filmmaking. The film opens with the aforementioned soldiers treking through the depressing countryside as a saddening score moods us well. Our characters are interesting, mesh well on screen and don't say anything warranting bitch slaps for retardancees. The cinematography is strikingly bleak and cold.

Tell me ^^^ THAT isn't creepy as fuck!  Geeeez

When we are finally taken inside the outpost itself, director Steve Barker really turns up the creep factor, the darkness and scare factor are not too dissimilar than 2005's The Descent. Lights flicker on and off, and we only gets glimpses of the impending evil. Some good kills are upon us...and from then on, the story unravels and the final battle ensues, and really, the film just sputters and dies.

If you want recent comparisons, think Dog Soldiers with a worse ending, or a Rogue that actually delivers some suspense. In summary, it's really the packaging and delivery that make Outpost a check-out-worthy film.


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