Saturday, January 17, 2009

Splinter [2008]

The best creature feature of 2008...

Synopsis: Two wannabee campers are hijacked on a rural highway and held hostage by a felon on the run, and his sniffy mcneedleinarm girlfriend. When the vehicle of escape overheats the four are bunkered down in a gas station recently inhabited by a Goldblum-in-The-Fly-esque creature of unknown origin.

Review: Bend me over and call me Sandy, Splinter can give it to me any which she wants. Splinter is quite possibly the best American horror since...errrrr...fuck I don't know, since the last real good one. I could go on and on about all it's positives, but let me start and finish with what it DIDN'T have: No pointless power-tool/sharp-object-to-an-extremity torture, no gimme-a-raping-break, slit-my-wrists and feed-me-drano dialogue, no obvious trademark plotholes or inconsistancies, and quite possibly, no wasted minutes. Add it to your must see netflix right fuckin now.


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