Wednesday, March 18, 2009
The Burrowers 
J.T. Petty's The Burrowers, based on and brought to the big screen from a 7-part tv miniseries, is good. And that is the problem, it's a good movie, just a terrible horror film.
After a family is abducted from their home, leaving only a mangled man and pools of blood, a posse of law-men and locals assemble to hunt down the suspected Indians and bring the family home safely (before they're raped and scalped). While on the warpath, men go missing by the night and the hunters become more and more the hunted - by those scalping and raping Indians...or maybe an unseen unimaginable evil. DUN DUN DUN.
Think Tremors, without a hot female lead or comic relief, and these creatures paralyze and shallow bury their victims (returning later to eat them alive), directed by John Ford, starring Lost outcasts instead of John Wayne. Get all that? Ok, good.
The long drawn out story takes us over the picturesque wasteland of Nevada, following scruffy men with nothing really interesting to say, but at least whatever they're saying, it's said well...few and far between are tense moments for tweens, where we get only glimpses of this mysterious creatures that we hardly care about because it was 45 mins ago when we saw that really cool scene...but that doens't matter because scruffy men are still talking by fires, and sometimes on horses, over the picturesque Nevada wasteland. Nice.
When the finale finally finalizes I'm just too drama-mooded to death to actually care about the mystery being unfolded, which is good, because it never does really unfold...it just kind of ends...and those damn Indians are still to blame! Fuck...and I thought non-reservation living minorities had it bad. Well, at least I still have that picturesque Nevada wasteland.