Calvaire [2004] aka The Ordeal

"Fuck chocolate, Belgium needs to give us more Du Welz!"

Synopsis:  A pseudo lounge singer's trip to his next gig is interrupted when his transportation breaks down.  With the help of a passer-by he finds a nearby inn owned by an all-too-friendly fellow artist whom offers room and board...it isn't long before he finds out the ins and outs of the inn (ya, that's right!).

Review:  Fabrice Du Welz' debut film is a stellar outing in the disturbing and creepy bowls of shock horror, Calvaire is unsettling and uncomfortable from the get go, and never lets up on the reigns of distress and suffering.  With obvious nods to many of horror's elite, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Misery, Delieverance and Psycho, Calvaire is as unique as it is homaging.  It's almost unparalelled originality formulates from it's stunning cinematography, bold performances , and sets and locations so dismal they put the "grotesque" back in "holyfuckisitevergrotesque".  Calvaire simmers in the cooking and not in the feast...and demands we all stick out or tongues to have a taste, no matter who much it will burn.

8/10

Arang [2006]

"I've got a "ju-on" to pick..."

Synopsis:  A detective and her new forensics specialist partner are on the hunt to find the killer of 4 friends with a murderous past.  Is it another long-black-haired teen back from the dead to avenge her death or perhaps a different killer with a "ju-on" to pick? 

Review:  A monotonous uneventful outing to an over cliched genre...the long-black-haired ghost with a grudge...yet somehow writer/director Sang-hoon Ahn believed he could reinvent the wheel with an added detective twist to the story...a swing and a miss!  The spills were few and far between and the thrills were non-existant.  By the time the banal final twist was thrown at me the dismal score had me dozing, the acting had me "who cares"-ing, and Asia has me running to France!  Skip it.

3/10

Fragile [2005]

Synopsis: A nurse is hired to work the final few nights at a hospital for children before the patients are moved to new hospital.

Review: Fragile (Frágiles) is a simple yet effective ghost story not uncommon with the dozens of recent Japanese horrors. Perhaps too overconfident, the film faulters. It lacks the frightful jumps of it's J-horror relatives and the final shocking twist. It's upside is it's capable cast and strong editing, both of which will keep you seated and your hand away from the remote. Although not worth seeking out, it may be a decent flick to find on TV when nothing else is on.

6/10

Eden Log [2007]

"Cube-esque..."

Synopsis:  A man awakes in the underworld without memory or clothing.  As he makes his way through the labyrinthian network truths and dangers are revealed, both equally frightening.

Review:  Eden Log is yet another masterpiece to emerge from France, and will comfortably accompany the likes of Saint Ange, Ils, À l'intérieur, Frontieres and Haute Tension.  Not surprisingly, as first time director Franck Vestiel sat assistant director on two of the five films (Ils and Saint Ange).  As the torch has now been unequivocably passed from Japan to France, it seems as though "chef-d'oeuvre" after "chef-d'oeuvre" are being churned out; each is unmistakenly different, exploring new realms of horror and taking untrodden paths to reach it.  Eden Log is a surreal oasis of dark mystery, enigmatic atmosphere and perilous intrigue.  The story unfolds slowly, yet effortlessly, we are taken on the same journey as our protagonist and we only learn what he learns; this will either attract or detract the viewer.  It's upsides are it's downsides.  For viewers, not unlike our protagonist, that can sustain the oddysey, will reach a conclusion that provides the answers we seek...and subsequently more questions to ask.

9/10

Rogue [2007]

"Move along...nothing to see here"

Synopsis:  An American travel journalist partakes in an Australian outback river tour to voyeur the crocodile in it's native habitat.  When the trip takes an unplanned detour the boat and it's passengers come face to face with the largest and most fierce man-eating croc the tour has ever seen.

Review:  Greg Mclean's follow-up to the arguably triumphant and successful debut, Wolf Creek, has more misses than hits and can easily be described has a significant and utter failure.  The first third is a wasted effort of scenic landscape shots, character development, and storyline buildups; none of which have bearingin later thirds.  The viewer is told that the crocs can hunt intelligently, propel their entire bodies straight out of the water using their powerful tails, and will rip you to shreds if unable to swallow you whole...none of which happened.  The dark and murky night scenes was shot beautifully but used little to no underwater shots, a successful trademark in any water creature features.  I can only assume that Mclean was trying to demonstrate he had real filmmaking skills, the postcard shots and the strange u-turn character driven finale, but both will be lost in translation.

5/10

Stuck [2007]

"...emotional and survivalistic, humorous and disturbing, a recipe for the uncomfortable pleasure we all love."

Synopsis: A young woman heads home after a drug-popping liquor-filled night at the club and en route introduces her windshield to a recently bad-luck stricken down and outer. Instead of taking him to the hospital (where she works) she chooses to leave him (and the car he's attached to) in her garage to bleed out. Cue the shit to hit the fan.

Review: Far from Gordon's best, far from original ("The Hitchhiker" from Creepshow 2), far from perfect, but not far off my favourites of '07 list. Stuart Gordon once again proves why is considered a "Master of Horror". Gordon pulls the best out of his actors, which allows the film to be sturdily placed upon their shoulders, and makes the most of a simple script, by making the situation as real and relatable as possible. The film does not drag and fits tightly into a perfect running time. This is a must for any situation film, a rule, nowadays, that is rarely followed. The tones are very emotional and survivalistic, humorous and disturbing, a recipe for the uncomfortable pleasure we all love. Highly recommended.

8/10

The Other Side [2006]

"The Other Side leaves no detail unattended, no shot unexplored, no plotline untravelled, and no viewer unentertained."

Synopsis: Sam North is dragically murdered and sent to hell where he escapes the clutches of Hades' tight hold and returns to the world of the living. He and other escapees must elude three reapers attempts at returning them to "The Pit" all the while solving the mystery of his missing fiancee.

Review: A brilliant no-budget product of a determined and talented young newcomer, writer/director/editor Gregg Bishop. A cross between The Matrix and Constantine, The Other Side is a high impact and exuberant energy filled outing that proves that there's hope and life left in the stagnant U.S. independant filmmaking scene. From start to finish we're treated with refreshingly witty humour, buckets-of-blood and exploding gun-shot-wounds, well-written plot-twists and an unknown, inexpericenced, yet capable, acting. The Other Side leaves no detail unattended, no shot unexplored, no plotline untravelled, and no viewer unentertained.

9/10